I think the EA hurts more than PA as well, at least it does for me...the EA or a "real" relationship interest is where you feel them toss you out of their heart....imo.
Update/Journal Entry--
Lots of things have been discussed by her going into week #2 since OM went N/C. Something he said has been really "getting" at her: "enjoy your life" ... I don't know what all there, but she has been giving it a lot of head time. Maybe I'll know someday...lol. But she is greiving and in withdrawal, so I can empathize well.
She seems torn between working it out and the call of the "other" life, her addiction to attention from men and acting on it while she still can before she's old and unattractive. Some interesting change in vocabulary is that she is using "cheating" and "cheated" instead of less blunt terms, and she said in one discussion that I have a lot of "leverage" against her if we D because of all she has done, how the kids would view her, etc...sounds like she is looking hard at a reality, rather than an escapist fantasy, of how things could go...
Through this I have been the usual validating, calm, non-threatening and not threatened (95%+). Safe, as she is still talking...lol. Just asking clarification questions to be sure I am understanding her points, feelings and thoughts.
I am seeing a lot of parallels to rH's H vacillating, and I have had times of some anxiety, but not too bad or too many.
But lots of contact via email and phone all day, so this is new, but then we are scrambling to get kids in new schools, but there have been times of her talking about other stuff, and even revealing things such as "when I was stressed like this before I would email "someone".... ".
So still letting her lead and show that I am there, got her back, but back off when I sense she wants or needs space.
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
