Wife lost in the MLC-We are now separated 2

[sam4nh]

So I am not back from my grandmother’s funeral. I can honestly say that this last year has been one of the hardest years of my life. I’ve lost a close cousin (more like my little sister), my mom, two close friends (co-workers) and now my grandmother. Oh yeah, my wife also wants a divorce!

My W had little or no interaction with me during this last week while I was with my family. She did send a text to let me know that my aunt called her by accident and then hung up on her. Needless to say it was a different story from my aunt who said she did say “Sorry and Goodbye W” before she hung up.

Yesterday I got home and my W texted, “I hope you are doing ok. What time do you get home today?” I responded a little later that I would be home after I picked up the dogs from the kennel. She just responded okay. That was that. Then about an hour later she started to call (left no voice mails) and finally starts with the texting. She was upset and you could tell, “Are you ignoring my calls on purpose? If you don’t want to talk to me that is understandable. I would just like to know that.” I get the feeling she’s trying to make me feel guilty for not taking her calls or returning her texts on her time schedule.

I know with DB we are not supposed to be “Available” so I waited until today to respond. Right, wrong, who knows? I responded with, “I am not ignoring your calls. Sorry if it appeared that way. Was there something you needed?” She responded with, “No – I just wanted to talk to you now that you are home – about Granny and how you are doing etc. (I think the etc. statement here is, I want to know if you’ve reviewed the divorce papers and are willing to sign them as she’s written them). Again she starts with texting messages to me such as, I tried to call you multiple times just to offer support and you didn’t answer any of my calls and didn’t respond hardly to any texts so I thought you didn’t want to talk to me.

I had to cancel my appointment with my lawyer last week since I needed to fly out of town to be with my family. I’ve rescheduled for Friday this week to discuss my W’s proposal. I do plan to review and counter with my lawyers recommendations, but I’ve just been busy with family stuff this last week. I am not trying to use this as a stall tactic.

I have an appointment with my IC tonight and I want to discuss my feelings about all of this more. I really don’t have a lot to say to my W about my grandmother or the D. She has decided she wants this and as I’ve said before I am not going to stall, I will divorce her, but I will not be taken advantage of. I’ve said my peace that it’s not what I want, but who am I in this journey of hers. I was thinking a lot while I was away and I really don’t see my W changing her mind or ever coming back to our R/M. She has a lot of pride and typically will fight tooth and nail to be right(in others eyes) and will rarely admit she is wrong or made a mistake. I said to my father this weekend that my W is someone I do not really know anymore. She comes across as a complete stranger most of the time. She seems genuinely upset about my grandmother, but with the stoic and indifferent way she acts towards me and my family it’s makes us all feel like she’s uncaring. My family is really hurt by all of her actions/inactions. She did not reach out to my father or anyone else to offer condolences. I’ve tried to explain that she is in a MLC, but they really don’t understand. I have to say a lot of times I really don’t understand either.

She says she wants a divorce and to also be friends in the same breath. Do friends really act like that to each other? That’s my rhetorical no responses are necessary.

Peace to everyone!