I am sure you may not notice, but in front of other people you really distance yourself and act like you can't stand me.
Is this true? That's ending a bad message to your W. I suspect there may be some truth in it because I sense the same kind of approach in your posts here.
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Then you tell everyone you invited me and I choose not to go.
Don't do that!!! If she doesn't go then just shrug your shoulders and go. This isn't about scorekeeping! It's OK to talk about it here, but not to friends & family! That just comes off as bitter!
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I would like to speak with you about this. I have a lot of the same feelings as you do....i really would like to get passed this portion of our lives. The confusion and stress is breaking me down as well....it shouldn't be happening to us. The lack of trust, the alienation, the miss-understandings.....its all too much.
No, no, no!!!! This isn't about what YOU are feeling, it's about what SHE is feeling!!! Shut up and listen! Validate her emotions!!! Let HER do the talking!
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It sounds like you don't either.
NOOOOO! Don't tell her what she's feeling!! Let her tell you!
Sorry for the 2x4, but this is all wrong! You've got a real opportunity here to listen and validate, don't waste it by telling her what your feelings are or by pretending you already know what hers are, or that you're feeling the exact same thing. All of those things minimize her feelings and push her away. She needs to do 80% of the talking, you just speak enough to let her know you're listening and to encourage her to continue to open up.
