when I say "the lack of affirming words puzzles me...it always improves m's"...
I mean to say that giving affirmations always improves marriage. The lack of it surprises me.
I think it's either a deliberate withholding of affection or compliments, b/c of scorekeeping or b/c it's seen as some sort of weak move. So it may be a power play.
The way you speak of the r's in your family and the way you measure things I do see a lot of power plays and maneuvering and I just wonder where you got that outlook.
Not everything is about power SP. Marriages ought not to be about power, for sure.
Again, you hit the nail on the head. I am a serious scorekeeper. Power has a lot to do with it too, undoubtedly. I really thought I was getting a handle on myself, but clearly I need CONSIDERABLY more work. Thanks again for your very sound words of insight.
I would love to have some input on how I should handle this meeting on Wednesday, or any things I should bring up. I realize, no pursuing, no R talk, not talk of the M, no talk about the future and no pressure....not sure what that leaves on the table to discuss.
