No call from xSO last night. I was disappointed. I am still having a hard time feeling detached - it still matters to me if he calls or does not. I was going to call him, but resisted.
What helps me not to contact is that I do not trust that he is not with the GF (or a new one). He said they broke up and that he was not looking - but there is no way to verify that.
It's funny really, once in while I go back and read the DR chapter on MLC or even exerpts from the Conway book or other MLC articles. What NEVER comes across in those 'how do you help your spouse go through this" is how truly difficult it is. How heartbreaking it can be and how LONG it takes. Not just in actual time, but how long it feels it takes. More than a marathon but an endurance run.
The other thing that is rarely mentioned is how HURT the LBS is which adds a whole other layer to communicating with the MLCer.
Detachment - I am working on it. Or at least I would like to get to the point where he is not popping in my head all the time.
