I've read quite a few stories about people who have gone through exactly what you're going through right now. You tried to get him back and when it seemed that wasn't going to happen, you built a wall around yourself to protect yourself emotionally from him. Now he's back, but you can't just take that wall down overnight. It went up one brick at a time and it needs to come down the same way.
I think we get so focused on trying to get our spouses back that we tend to set aside the fact that THEY have problems too. While they rewrite history and remember nothing but bad things about us, we similarly rewrite history and remember nothing but the good about them. We ignore our own concerns about the M and focus 100% on trying to bring them back. Then if/ when they do come back, suddenly all those thoughts and emotions that we've been suppressing come bubbling up and demand to be addressed. And sometimes the shift is so dramatic that the LBS becomes a WAS.
I would suggest you do go to counseling, even if not to save the M, to just help you sort through your thoughts. Right now you might need IC more than MC.
