Oh, my. You are really dealing with someone who isn't in his right mind.
You are doing remarkably well given the crazy you are dealing with. It would seem that you are, in fact, the person he can take things out on. I would just keep doing what you are doing, try to stsy calm amist the crazy. You can't reason with crazy, it will make you crazy & they have more experience
Big hugs! I really feel for you & your children
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D