My divorce is final today. I can't believe it's been 6 months already. Time surely does fly.
I've been at peace for about 6 wks now. I'm not gonna lie.. it's kinda awesome not to cry every month.
I tried so hard to forgive and move on for so long. Funny thing is when I took the pressure of myself and actually put more faith in God vs. my own actions.. things got better.
I bought a jeep and she is beautiful! She is not the most fuel efficient or the safest, but she sure is sexy.. and I look Good driving her.
Getting back into the dating world has been great. I'm in no rush to settle down or have a g/f, but this time I am being myself. Super femme with my guarded heart on my sleeve. If she doesn't like.. that's her problem. I've learned my lesson.
After these past 2 years, I have no regrets. Do I wish I wouldn't have lost my marriage.. of course, but I only make up 50% of the equation. My xw also had free will.. and her choices are her own to make.
But I am SO thankful. It is in times of great suffering that we truly learn who God intended us to be as his children. Loving human beings with hearts full of compassion, grace, and understanding. Mirrors of what he is and how he loves us.
And although my xw chose to stop loving me, I was shown love by so many people on a consistent basis. From family to strangers, it has just been amazing.
How can I NOT love, when I am loved deeply?
And just keeping that in the foreground of my mind has been a game changer. Because if my thoughts are filled with gratitude and praise... there is very little room for anger or fear.
Thank you my friends for fighting the good fight with me. Sorry for the sentimental blabber.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
