Still confused...about everything.

[BRNR]

My S's are 9 and 13. My 9 year old (my baby love) is ADHD, which makes him a handful no matter the drug...

I appreciate everyone's concern, and I am not thinking with a rational brain at all...i guess the first time I went through this it was H and I...ride or die...through out the situation.
Now that I am alone, I am still trying to navigate it, just by removing him out of the picture, but there is more to it than that...I do realize this now.

I like Portia's idea of talking with H first and then maybe consulting with his mom, (my MIL). She would probably help out if needed, but she is going through a lot of her own medical issues (kidneys) that I just don't know it would be feasible for her for more than a few hours...she also lives 45 minutes away, so, that may be an issue.

The kids are at two differnet schools, different activities, differnet friends...makes it complicated to get any one person on the same page to do what they need, so it would mean me explaining my situation to a lot of people in order to make it happen. Not really interested in doing that, but I will see what I can trim from thier schedules adn keep the option open.

As I said, my freinds are more than willing to help me with my appt's and such. My dilemma is the care of my children. So even if H wouldn't want to support me through the biopsies/surgeries, etc, (which I wouldn't see him wanting to while we are separated/MLC-I am not kidding myself here) What I really am asking from him is to take care of his children more for a few days...

But none-the-less, I will seek out all my options and talk to H as soon as I can...

Thanks everyone...I am emotional...my body is trying to take me out, and with all the pressures of going through the separation/MLC, I just can't deal with any more...especially all by myself.