That sounds sooo awesome, SS! I sure hope you can stay on this track. Because even the absolute best scenarios possible, that your H would get his head out of his behind and become a new person and come back to reconcile (and that's only a *maybe* on the best thing possible,) I think the work you're doing and the progress you're making is essential for a healthy you. I think maybe you weren't so healthy before and just didn't realize it. You sound GREAT right now! Keep it up!