JS.. you've been through alot in the past 2 years.. but I wonder if you think too much.
For example:
Originally Posted By: JustStunned
To forgive her I need to understand her actions and motivations.
Why? You may never know her motives and I would argue that you really don't need them to forgive. Your xw is venomous and has been like a snake towards you for a LONG time....
And although it sukks for you that you take the heat for it... it must be horrible to have such internal battles that she has to project anger to deal with them.
That's where the forgiveness lies. It is in compassion for her that she doesn't have her sh!t together and she is hurting the people around her. Yes she may be causing it, but your heart can break for her all the same.
Originally Posted By: JustStunned
Learning only stops when we stop and I hope to never again feel the need to dig into me as deeply. I cannot afford complacency, so digging again may be inevitable. I need to find the balance point, my balance. I find myself going back to my roots as if returning to my core will provide a foundation to build from. I know of no other method.
The past is in the past. Learn from it.. but move on from it. We can spend so much time analyzing it.. that it keeps us there. When in turn, it should just be used a guide. Something we pull from our back pocket when a present situation tests us.. or has us acting in old behaviors.
Just be.. my friend. Live in today. Don't force yourself to dig through things you aren't ready to. There is a difference between avoidance and protection.
Protect your heart now so it can heal.. and have faith that you will deal with things exactly when you are supposed to.
((( )))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
