Just an update. I told the W I need an additional 90 days and she was understanding and agreed. Perhaps it was my imagination, but she almost seemed relieved. I still don't think she is having second thoughts about the divorce though.
Try not to read anything into it, but be happy you have another 90 days.
Originally Posted By: hadrianus
She is moving out in two weeks. Now that some of the tension is gone, should I start spending a bit more time with her or should I continue to distance? I will of course continue with the 180's (which are no longer for her, but for me!)
Continue the distance. That was the hardest thing for me to do, both while H was living with me and in the start of the S. It really flies in the face of everything your gut is telling you to do. Especially since my H's complaint was that I was not as attentive as he would have liked. But, WAS sees it as pressure. The key is to be pleasant and kind in the interactions. Bring up no R talks, no future talks, no feelings. It's really hard, but it is the best thing. The last week H was in the house was one of our best since BD. There was no real R talk, unless he brought it up and I just listened. No fighting, because he was moving out. Let your W be the guide of time spent together.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
