I know she notices the changes, but she just isn't ready to trust again.
It takes a long long time. I just passed the 2 year mark since BD and I'm just starting to get the sense that W believes my changes are real. She doesn't talk about it much, but for the first year, it was a regular point she made (i.e. I don't believe this is the real you).
Originally Posted By: cbtdad
I told him my biggest fear is pulling a 180 and becoming the best man I can be and her not changing at all and me not wanting to be with her anymore.
Personally, I think that is a totally reasonable fear. I have it myself. As with most of us, our Ms didn't break because of one person....both partners had a hand in it. For them to work, I think both partners must have a hand in that as well. Sure, one of us wants it to work generally and one doesn't, but that doesn't mean we'd fix ourselves and then stay married to someone who refuses to work with us.
I think it's a regular question here...how long do I wait it out? How long do I delay D in hopes that spouse will make adjustments or change their mind? My W and I have actually had that discussion to a point. She feels like she waited for me to get it together for 10 years (and to a point, she's right)...how long will I wait for her to figure it out now that the shoe's on the other foot? Well, 2 years and counting...but there's always times I feel tired and want to give up. So yeah, I too have that same fear.
