I thought I would update you guys, things have continued to go well. I haven't been on here much, been busy, and have been working through my own stuff on how to deal with things that aren't being said, and may not be. I think I just want some validation that he knows these last 14 months haven't been all about "us" or me, but other issues, and I want to feel valued/appreciated again. I think I have mostly gotten myself to a place of acceptance.
H did move his stuff back into our room 3 weeks ago, we even bought a new bed (mattress and box spring). Life has been going on as normal, which is still sometimes strange. H hasn't said he loves me yet, well not in words anyway (I'm hoping that comes soon), but there have been other little things (that in this world of MLC are HUGE).
A couple of weeks ago while I was washing dishes, H came out and hugged me and said, "I'm glad we've made it here." I said, "me too." Nothing more was said.
He thanked me once and told me "I'm a pretty cool chick." He didn't expand on why he was thanking me, but I know.
For Valentine's Day I did get a card, a funny one, and he signed it with a smiley face and his name, and he bought me a gift, we also went out to eat, nothing fancy(I'm not a fancy kinda girl anyway), just some place not crowded, LOL. That was nice, more that I expected, and waaaaay better than last year when he wanted to leave. It doesn't matter what we are doing, we could be doing nothing at all, I'm just loving the fact he wants to spend time with me again.
Yesterday H hugged me and said, "Thank you for sticking with me through this." This kind of caught me off guard. I said, "I wouldn't have it any other way." and you're welcome.
These little comments have helped me when I have been struggling with does he realize what I've been through, and does he realize what he's been going through isn't all about us? Sometimes he will comment that things are going good so far. I guess he's still on the defensive, but I've kept my changes going, and am doing my best to keep it that way, and staying positive, it's too easy to get caught up in the negative when people around you are being negative.
I just hope that he is or has worked through the other issues that needed tending to. I really don't want him running back into the tunnel, definitely want that to be a one and done situation!
I'm just taking it one day at a time, and trying to be the best me I can be.
