Is this cake eating 11

[2chiquitos]

Hi NLW,
Jan 2012 I was waking up next to D1 (6mos old at the time) and S4 (3.5 yr at the time). I cried as I saw them interact that morning because H had (still hasn't) woken up next to them. (Since he left before D1 was born).

I called him to tell him this, crying. This shook him up. It didn't bring him back but it obviously stirred up feelings he was trying to ignore.

Anyway, I was fortunate that a month later I started writing my gratitude list. Every day I would write down something, just one thing, I was grateful for that day. My first was waking up with my kids.

And everyday, for about a month or two, I read that list I created. It hit me. I am so d@mn lucky! My kids know that I have never and will EVER leave them. They can't say the same for H. How sad! but not sad for me!! I can say that I have not missed one single milestone in their life. I am so lucky!

I never spoke bad about their dad to them or in front of them. H said, You pin them against me. WTF?? He did that himself! He says, children will always run to defend their mother. UHhhh maybe cuz I didn't ditch them??!!! ok... I'm digressing...

All in all, make your gratitude list. You have A LOT to be thankful for AND... we all say it but although it's hard to sink in...the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Don't assume H & OM are having this wonderful relationship.

I'll leave it at that.