Super quick summary: My journey has taken about 3 years. My H expressed that he could not commit to the M and wanted to see "what else was out there." He was happy but not at the "10 level." He was curious what it was like to be with other women. I DB'ed and also tried what most people try when their M is in trouble: bought books, tried to talk about the issues, tried to find solutions to the problems, tried to reason with my H. Nothing worked.
He eventually had an EA that turned into a PA. The whole thing lasted 6 months. Even though my bottom line was a PA, I insisted on saving the M after I learned the truth, but there was a lot of pain. He moved out a little over a year ago after saying that he loved me but still had the urge to be with other women. I DB'ed again. Nothing worked. He filed for D on 9/25/12. I thought I would give up, but every time we saw each other, my H was very affectionate (more than affectionate.) He would disappear and then contact me and want to spend time with me. He mentioned being confused and not knowing if he was doing the right thing. This happened all the way through 1/31/12. That day, I asked him whether we should delay the D, but he said he still wanted to "explore." He didn't want to have to answer to anyone. He wanted a D.
So here I am, in the midst of negotiating the D agreement with my H. But I've found renewed peace and strength. I'm writing a book that I hope helps a lot of people who are going through or will go through something similar.
