Thank you TSquared2....... I am trying so hard to go dark and stay dark... for myself yes.... but also for the relationship. one day I am fine... the next my hands are shaking and I can't stop thinking about how it went so wrong... I start to second guess our relationship. It's just so hard losing your best friend when you can't figure out why... as most of us know on here... I am scared that by going dark I will lose her... how can you save something by walking away from it... ? it's goes against my beliefs as a fixer.... but I am trying so hard.... and yes your right... I want to come out of this healthy... I have a good job... make good money... have already seperated everything with her and I am back in the house... I know in the long run I will be ok... once I detach from her.... but it's the fear of letting go forever that scares me more than I can say. I can let go for 6 months.. a year.. or whatever it might take for her to come thru this... but even then there is no guarantee that she will still even want to come back.. I am still trying to figure out why/how she could leave in the first place. Thank you so much for just being on this site... so many wise people I can't thank you all enough....
Cadet I did read the thread... I will read it again... I find I need to read them all over and over... and it does help
M-39 W-41 T-9yrs BD-Dec 2012 “regardless of your choices and the fact that they may have caused me to experience painful emotions, I still love you because I recognize the purpose of our journey.”
