xSO called two nights ago but I was not home. No message.
Then he called last night and we caught up for about an hour. Well, we talked about his life not much about mine. We have always enjoyed talking to each other which was always a huge part of our connection.
On the surface the conversation was not awkward or strange. A transcript would not really reveal anything. But I still feel a bit strange talking to him. I wish I knew how to describe it.
I do not really have the urge for a R talk - at least not the where are we going kind. But I do wish that I could say to him: be very aware that I am not your filler girl while you look for someone else and that I know you expect for me to always be there, I may not be. He does not seem to realize that, in the same way he thought his having a GF would not affect our friendship at BD.
I have also been wondering about his last counselling session. I never brought it up and neither did he. Should I be asking about it or would that be pressure and I should let him bring it up? My thought was to open the conversation but not to push if he does not tell me.
Almost seven months. I miss my best friend. I wonder if he misses me. There have been no I miss yous or ILYs in a long time. Actually ever since he broke up with GF.
