I want him to be happy

[25yearsmlc]

I’m thinking deeply today…

Few things I can say about me is that I’m very organized, I am very particular about what I like and I’ve always liked criticizing things and people. I don’t think they are particularly bad traits of mine but what if you posses completely opposite traits and have to live with me 24-7?

I applaud your bravery in looking within. I really do.

My only two observations are that saying you "always liked criticizing things and people" - honey, it IS not a desirable trait.

It's called being "critical." Honestly, no one likes it. Do you like being around other people who constantly or "always" put others down?

As for being "very organized" and that being a good trait, it is if you like that!! AND OR don't expect others to meet your standards in THEIR lives...

IF you are an OCD person OR someone who criticizes those who are different --than no, it's not. Others might describe themselves as more spontaneous and easy going than you, so to THEM, being "very organized" can be seen as rigid, controlling, obessive compulsive, etc.

Striking balance is important. Allowing others to be themselves is important. But the extremes of either can be seen as negatives.


I often remember an incident that happened to me when I was in high school. My friends and I were talking about something and I must have suggested something. My friend then said “Just because you think that’s the best way, that’s not the only way” or something like that. I don’t remember how I reacted to that but it stayed in my head to this day obviously because I saw truth in it.


that's good insight about an incident to ponder...

If I were to characterize my H, he would be very laid-back, patient and take people who they are. People thought and still think we are very harmonized because we are so different.. but I think we were harmonized because he tuned into my traits for many years.

you mean b/c he tuned OUT? I don't get your wording. You mean he didn't want to fight it out with you b/c he was conflict avoidant with you, or he didn't feel he'd get anywhere or what?

If there was no compromise & it was all done your way, then, isn't it easier to see what really happened? What do you think?

DB-ing is definitely transforming me to become a better person, more harmonized with anger, frustration, sadness, things I don’t like… but man I still have a long way to go.

Just a reality check

Join the club of the flawed humans here!

Those who dig deepest may at first find some unpleasant surprises, but we grow the fastest and the most too...

if we stay with it. If we don't cut & run and begin the "blame game" b/c we're too ashamed by what we find, to face it.

Stay brave and you'll find that down deep, under whatever baggage you have (and we all have some --- til we deal with it)

can be handled.