Gonna be different now, (butterfly in hurricane).

[25yearsmlc]

result of the hearing

Hello,
So, I get Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5h30 to 7h45, and every other week Saturday from 9h to 3pm
After two months the Saturday time gets transformed into Friday evening to Saturday 3pm
and after two months it gets transformed into Friday evening to sunday morning. every other week.

And that sounds as if it's the standard "joint custody" for a dad, but Not half "physical custody," is that right? You DO realize you can go back for more? This is not written in stone.

But, she got child support, spousal support, alimony, child care.

Spousal support IS alimony. So How long will she get this? Again, this IS something you can revisit. It's NOT permanent. I have a hard time believing she will get half your salary for a 3 year marriage. I can see the "standard" 20-25% of income for the child support, b/c it is standard. But please don't assume that this is a permanent result. It just isn't.

While I realize different jurisdictions yield different results, I simply do not believe a woman in such a short marriage would get that much in alimony for very long. In fact, I'd bet that the sale of the home in France in being added in over here and you're overlooking that.

Here's a cite you may find helpful: Dept of Justice, Canada, "An Overview of the Advisory Guidelines/Support Advisory Guidelines July 2008".
It discusses amounts and length of time, etc.

So how long did they determine she gets spousal support, OR do you go back to decide that?

Which amounts to half of my salary ! Which means she earns more than me now. I'm so mad.

You are not listening...do you recall what YOUR lawyer said to you? I'm not sure you were calm enough to take it in. What do you remember him telling you?


I pay my rent, and the bills and more or less that's it, I can't put money aside, nevermind pay a mortgage or go on vacation..

And oh, it's retroactive, I have to use my savings, and borrow money to pay what I owe. I'm broke.

Presumably this^^ is b/c of the sale of the house in France, which you told her about when you mentioned that you now want to buy a home there...So that money was, in the eyes of the court and her, half hers.

And it would have been the same if she had filed in France, though I don't know about the child support issues. But all western nations make non custodial parents pay child support. You do get that, correct?

I'm not saying this to annoy you. I'm saying it to stop you from exaggerating the impact and from playing the victim, again.

If you read the law on Canadian divorce (see above cite) and see what they say about the couple owning things jointly, you'll find that the part where you divide what you two attained IN the marriage, is typical.

That part does not surprise me.

If I was in france I wouldn't have to pay a dime, but then I wouldn't see my son. So, it's not an option either.


Um, so You claim that the French don't make couples share property gained during the marriage? And they don't make fathers pay child support? I know for a fact that it isn't true. Why would you state this??



First reactions from you? Fair, not fair, to be expected?
What do I do? Put a smile on while giving her the checks?



Tell her that now we have to ccoperate for the good of S, or is that a form of pursuing?

I have so many questions, I'm very confused, please help me.
(or pray for me..)

Thank you,
Bruce

You need to ask your lawyer when the amount of spousal support (or what you refer to as alimony, which is a term rarely used now) ends, and whether you have to go back to court for that.

As you'll find in the cite I gave you, typically the child support ends when the child is emancipated OR later if a part of college costs is determined.

Spousal support ALWAYS ends when a person remarries but in short term marriages (less than 10 years) usually ends at the end of half the length of the marriage, in your case that would be 18 months. This happens even if the spouse has not remarried.

Plus you probably have to pay her for her half of the sales price of the home in France, so that may be why the amount seems so high to you right now. It's seen as a "debt" you owe her.

But it's NOT b/c you will "always" have to pay her more than you yourself earn or take home.

This is your victimhood description and I'd bet a lot that it's not accurate.

IF it is,

then send me a copy of the decision and evidence that it is a permanent irrevocable award, & I will donate $100 to your fav charity.