Well as I have done a little more digging, half the equity when someone is staying in the house is a little different than selling and splitting the equity. Appraisal for division of assets places that value of equity lower for the one leaving. This makes it more fair for the one staying in the house as there would be a lot of cost in selling the house and refinancing also. I also am taking on the risk of the mortgage so...
My IC went well we discussed the fact that I have forgiven myself for any part I played in the demise of my marriage. The further I am out of the situation the more I realize this was not all my fault, not even close. I however want to make myself a better person. Do not mistake this thought with callousness towards my W. I still have empathy for the fact she is hurting, I just disagree that I am her evil villain. In my next relationship the faults my wife has with me may be a blessing. Thanks GTO for that little nugget of wisdom.
I have started group thing called Celebrate Recovery, it's a christian based 12 step program for anyone with hurts, hang ups and addictions. I like it so if anyone is interested look them up.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
