Just popping in with a question

[JBolt]

You are right in that she wants to clear her conscience. This is what's going to happen next. After awhile when you don't do anything to push the D, she's going to get angry at you. She's going to accuse you of things that you never even heard of before. She's going to treat you like the devil himself.

It took me a while to figure this out. Though she appears scatter-brained most of the time I see her or talk with her (not very often), she can be crafty. I can't imagine her being more angry at me! I'm waiting for her to blame me for pushing that iceberg in front of the Titanic. She digs back 25 years or just makes stuff up completely to keep that anger fueled. I thought letting her spew a little (okay, a lot), validating without accepting, and just doing not disagreeing with her twisted nonsense would somehow help her get it out her system. I of course should have listened to AJM's advice after our first venom filled phone conversation:

"I don't recommend you let her vent about you at you. That kind of reinforces the anger, don't you think?"

Yes, now I do.

Think of it like the stages of death. She's going through bargaining with you. Then it's going to be anger, then sadness. The ironic thing will be that when she finally starts accepting the fact that she contributed to the demise of your R, she's going to regret not doing anything to heal it.

I'm trying not to look forward to that day if it ever comes or she ever admits it to anyone but herself. No expectations. It really does seem like bargaining, like she's trying to talk me into filing because of how good it would be for me. We will see.
J