Hi Grizz, This is indeed very hard stuff. Like AS, living with my zombie W for 3 months after BD was a nightmare for me one that I saw no hope of waking up from or could ignore. Her complete, emotionless indifference. towards me was very painful and I couldn't help but start sh#t with her just to have some kind of reaction! I was extremely hurt when she didn't acknowledge our 23rd anniversary or get me an xmas gift, and didn't hold back telling her how f'd up that was. I see this was rather unhealthy on my part, if understandable, but felt powerless to stop myself, it was all pre-DBing and didn't have about MLC.
Anyway, I know the advice is to never leave the home (didn't know that at the time either), but I was so happy when I found this really nice apartment for me and my kids. They love their time with me here which was the most important thing to me. It has given me oppurtunity to detach, avoid fights with W (none since just before xmas, though she has b#tched at me plenty on the phone!), and grieve by myself. I honestly think I would be as bat-sh#t crazy as her or possibly dead if I hadn't left. It's hard to admit that and see how weak I was then. I'm not fully detached and I get pretty sad sometimes, but it's nothing compared with the emotional and physical paralysis I was stuck in before. I can't imagine how the folks on this forum can live with their zombies and function. It's really impressive, i wish i had that kind of strength sometimes. J
Me42 W41 D10,D15 T25 M23 LYBNILWY 09/12 OEA 08/12(?)-ended? 01/13 Sep 01/13 I file 04/13 1rst D hearing 06/13 Currently in mediation
