first time & need help still

[albamarie]

Nero, it's nice that you are still holding hope for something between you and h. I don't have that, the change in him is physical and mental, as well as new habits. Like I said your h has his sense self preservation in tact.

I would be like your story above, there would be something missing, the purity, the innocence of it all, I was 22 when we M, water fights, 2am pizza orders, Christian retreats in Wis. burnt dinners, lots of beach play, and tacos. We could never start over, or pick up where left off, so it would have to be who we have both become today.

Today, I would still pick that guy in the doorway with his jaw dropped, even as the new older me. I would still find the warmth and comfort in someone who is not materialistic, eclectic, and is a nonconformist as myself. But, that guy will never be back inside him, that came from youthful enthusiasm, beliefs, love, and passion, and faith.

A new h would have to redefine his relationship with God, first and foremost, before he could even begin to love himself again. That's a tall order to a man, men seem to have more of a spiritual battle than women, mine at least feels like that. I'm not very informed about all this but I know it changes a man dramatically when he turn his back.

You have a different battle...your h just doesn't want to be pinned down, he wants to be free, for now, when he needs stability, as we all end up needing, then who will be there for him. He has to go through his childhood junk and you cant help him. He not getting any younger...if he doesn't have kids he's looking at some lonely years with out his Nero who would have L him, what do you think?

So, it's about us, we can't change them, so we have to relearn what we want and discover what this changed us needs! We both know it's not them, as they are....so right now that's what we know for sure...it's time to tip the scales to know us again and let them go further and further down, and let them pick up their own pieces.