House for sale. So Sad. Family Breaking Up (pt 3)

[JuneReN]

All of us and our babies, Hon. Not such a bad day...plenty of people to love, lots to be grateful for.

If you have to handle the bank stuff, then do so. Quit shaking your head. You know she should know better, we know, with her background, she should know better, but it's sliding through her fingertips right now and it's my bet that all her energy and focus is on the D and herself right now. I balance eleventy seven things every second of every day and H can't remember that x or y is due even though it's been due for 15 years or whatever...

The all together facade is crumbling for your wife and I think this may just be the beginning. So you stick your path, protect yourself and the babies and hang on! (())

[FloydMan]

Some are definitely intentional, but the banking stuff, mortgage etc would not look good on her and definitely would affect her credit. Our mortgage is with her bank too. Other things she definitely does intentionally to make me look bad....like not giving me a copy of the RE listing agreement to sign. She has a copy and wants it done ASAP but this delays it....wants to make it look like I am stalling to the courts.

[FloydMan]

Actually I guess I did not mean that as it read. The situation and all the crap is sad. I love being with my kids and we've had a very good evening. Until W showed up and was her bitter self. No card from kids to me as I got one from them to her and chocolates from the kids. But she did not get them any cards or anything either. I wrote them nice cards and gave them some nice treats. She left again and enjoying my babies.
How does one have so much anger for so long?

[FloydMan]

I love you Ruby. Thanks! You're right...as always.
Definitely her all together facade is crumbling. My sister said that too. Others I think are taking notice.

[labug]

I think your W is in a very dark place right now, who knows the reason but do you think she's doing all this intentionally.

From what you describe she sounds like a woman coming apart at the seams. Try not to take what she does personally.

[FloydMan]

She is in a dark place Bug. I do think a lot of it is intentional, some she does not realize what she says or does or how it sounds or affects the kids. She is coming apart at the seams. It is so sad to see and balance what I need to do for me and the girls. I used to take it much more personally, but less so now. It hurts less but frustrates even more. Very strange. Me with the RE Agent today and we lowered the price of the house. It is still too high but it is W's price again. I just am going along with it. My L has now for the 3rd time in as many months tried to schedule a 4 way meeting to settle everything and they still not have responded to setting it up. It would not be her L as they would want to get it done, it would be my W that is delaying that process. They have yet to initiate court as they threatened 2 weeks ago but who knows that may come anyway. My L thinks that it won't look good on them to a judge that we have extended offers 3 x to meet with them and they delay. I suspect W is buying time to make another play of some kind. I start a new job on Tuesday and I will need my full focus. It is a challenging job and will need time and focus.

[FloydMan]

Well just heard from my L and he spoke to W's L and they do not want to go to court and want to settle things outside of it so they will not be putting court application in at this time. They are open to a meeting late next week or early the following week. Financials need to be submitted by Monday next week and then negotiations begin. Her L made it clear once again that there is no OM and why wife has been so offended is that she thinks I believe so. I have NOT made any accusations to her about this except months and months ago as it pertained to her previous affair. I have vented on this board about it being a possibility but never to anyone or her directly. Other people in my life assume there is and they tell me that. Her L made it clear to mine they want to settle this and W is not interested in reconciling right now and just wants to move on. Together financially we would be in good shape. Separately it will be tight. Though it is not about the money, I would be fine. I think she would struggle with the way she spends. The kids would not fare as well. Stats do not support kids do as well or better after D. Could her hate be that she feels guilt from before and that she feels I do not trust her or ever will? My L said this D should not happen. He said he would prefer to save the family as we have so much compared to most. His hands are tied in making that happen other than trying to influence and educate them on the negative impact of D long term. Said he wants to open that discussion if and when we all meet. Said he has seen couples turn around from much worse situations.

[tori2012]

Wow, FM. You have a nice L! Mine just wants to get his money. Of course D is not the best answer, but you can't explain that to a WAS. They'll just want to pull away more and more. Her anger is to cover her guilt and low self-esteem. All you can do is continue being the best you can be, and let her be who she wants to be now.

And yes, the past A definitely influences her (and your) perception.

[JuneReN]

Screw the stats Floyd. The exception starts with exceptional parenting...go to town.

[FloydMan]

My L is a good guy. I still pray he will get the best for me and my girls. He was referred to me. I met with 5 L's before I retained him. Only 3 talked about reconciling and two did not even mention it. They are required here to promote it. He can be tough but believes in family. Has seen the crap and destruction D brings but also won't be pushed around.