SD, I'm sure you're right, because he has absolutely nothing in mind when he says that. He's a salesman and it's his "pitch." He has never offered "this" is what he'd do, just "anything." It requires less thought and commitment that way. I've told him things directly, like that I can't make a happy M without trust, that he has to stop lying to me. He promises he'll never lie to me again, but then does so again and explains that somehow that's different. Like when he told me that a golf game admission was "taken care of," implying that the guys that invited him were paying for him, when in really it cost him $175 and the guys weren't paying for any of his. To him that's different because he didn't really "lie," since technically the cost was taken care of -- by him. Instead, he simply "lead me to believe something was true when it wasn't." Well they're the same to me.
Besides that example, I don't know what I could tell him. To me, M and relationship is a whole bunch of little things. Like caring and courtesy and thoughtfulness and empathy and understand and protectiveness and priority. He's a list man, he needs a list. How do I put that on a list? And if I put on the list to be empathetic when my mom is sick in the hospital, what can I expect when I don't get a job I applied for. If it wasn't "on the list," does that mean he's off the hook? We've covered all these sort of things in countless books and counseling, but he still doesn't seem to get it.
