Think it is a mid life crisis - thoughts, advice?

[movingon-1968]

Opinions or 2x4's needed....H and I have had little contact lately expect about D or finances. Remember the other week I started this little contact habit and he made statements that he thought I was done trying, and I guess I probably never really answered, I'm not good at verbalizing.

If he's anything like my W was after I started my 180's, he's now really confused and trying to figure out what's going on. I can't speak for everyone in this sitch, but, my W had (and still does) trouble thinking and concentrating as it was. Once I started the 180's it really threw her for a loop. She became the one who was guessing about my actions.

But the way things are going now, I feel like I need to let him know that I have not given up, that I am simply giving him space and working on myself, doing things for me. I know the book says no letters - but I feel like I need to let him know a little about where I am. Not a mushy, I miss you, need you etc. Just what I said above - that I am working on me and giving him space.

What I told my W was this: 'I'm giving you space because that's what you have communicated that you need. At the same time I'm changing things about myself that I do not like, for me.' That's pretty much where I left it.

Sometimes it seems really odd - almost like he is using DB on me. Or at least he kind of mirrors me.

That wouldn't surprise me. What I noticed about my W was she would try to mimic some of my behaviors. She eventually stopped, I'm guessing because it seemed so unnatural for her state of mind.

He did send me a text yesterday that said Happy Valentines day to the best mommy in the world.

That's a plus.

So a 180 would be to have more contact. But then in the past year it has been the other way, I was kind of an annoying nag.

There are certainly more qualified people here than I to give advice on this. But, I think would continue the limited contact for bit. Maybe a tweak here and there as necessary to get better results.