I think your W is in a very dark place right now, who knows the reason but do you think she's doing all this intentionally.

From what you describe she sounds like a woman coming apart at the seams. Try not to take what she does personally.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss