Exquisite. I would say that in severe MLC - which most of the people here seem to be experiencing with their spouses, running the show is a good way of the MLCer describing it for a large part of the crisis.
It is only in the last year that I got any sense that my xh is experiencing any realisation of what he has lost. And that is intermittent.
I hoped deep down for reconciliation, for a very long time, but have worked hard over the past two years at detachment, and it worked. This is harder than many people think after a long marriage (and mine was more than 30 years) not to want to grow old with that person. But one way or another my detachment has increased, and this is the first time I have seen him without an increase in nvervousness or heartbeat! But then I haven't seen hi for nearly three years.
I have absolutely no wish to reconcile, but equally, as I said no desire to punish. I am strangely indifferent, but still fond of him the way one is of any old friend that one has dritted apart from. I do not feel myself 'better' than him, just very separate.
So not where I hoped to be for a long time, but now better than I ever expected - a vague friendship, and on my terms.
