Gonna be different now, (butterfly in hurricane).

[Big Bruce]

Hiya,
Update on things.
First things first, I'll answer a couple of questions :

Your "compliment list" includied that she can work long hours and "likes to knit"...you LOVE her BECAUSE she likes to knit??
Really?

Yes, her knitting makes me feel, oh, so passionate.
For one it's so old-fashioned that it means stability. It carries strong affectional sense, that someone would buy the yarn and actually take time, with patience, to knit something for someone else. She knitted a Norwegian jumper for me at the beginning of our marriage, and I was so in love with her for that, still makes me heart melt.

Oh btw, she was working first in France, then in Monaco. No problem in that respect.

Is she kind or smart or interested in the world around her? Does she take care of herself? Does she have long term friends and good relationships with her family and is she a good person who tries to be loving to others?

She can be kind yes, and smart also. Not very interested in the world around her I'd say though.
She doesn't take particularly care of herself (no gym, no make up, no super clothes), but that's fine with me.
No long term friends, or short term as it is. I've always encouraged her to befriend people in church, but she doesn't like people. Everybody has always something bad or she's not interested. Which is a shame, because friends are the chocolate chip of the cookie in life.
You would think she is shy because she doesn't talk much or at all, but it's out of not wanting to mingle and open up.
As for her and family relationship, I ignore how it goes between them.


Now, let me describe how it went today, the meeting with the two lawyers and her.
First, I'm sure she didn't ask for the meeting because she appeared sullen. I knew that expression of hers.
Then when she spoke, it was only to say why she wanted 100% custody and only allow me visits. I made it clear she was free to leave the M, but that eventually we would have to share Brucie. From then on, she clamed up.
Then she only repeated what she already said in the sworn statement, how dangerous I was and how worried she was, and how she wouldn't concede anything.
After two hours, to say just that, I was thinking that at the rate at which the Lawyers are paid, I never wasted money so bad than today.

I said I wanted an increase in my time with my son, and she said she would increase it by one hour for the next six months (sic).
I protested, and her lawyer kept proposing one hour increases per week, but she was reluctant.
When HER own lawyer told her she was being unreasonnable, she said she didn't agree, because she took care of the baby, and I was inexperienced, etc...
My L called for a break and told me frankly, that we were wasting our time, and my money.

So we resumed our meeting, and my L said that he would plead tomorrow morning, to let the judge decide of the increase in time I should have.

So, I run practically no risk of having less than that tomorrow. But they will ask for money, and that will hurt because she is not playing it fair. She claims she's paying rent to their parents. POLL TIME WHO on this site believes it's true? Then she is claiming she pays her mother to keep Brucie. Again, WHO on earth believes it's true? And she is stating that she earns 0 $, when she works 22 hours a week! How is that possible? She wants child support, and spousal support.
Yes, my friends, she is unashamedly asking for half of my salary..

And to answer for the division of our property, I put all the money in, from the downpayment, my parents help, and every single mortgage payment. Now I understand she was one with me, so she invested her time and her life with me, but we were married for 3 years when she separated, and in three years she couldn't have earned the money she's asking for.

Anyway, I see in W someone who is afraid and resentful, and that has a big problem of unforgiveness. Maybe it's just an impression of mine, but it feels like she wants to make me pay, suffer a bit, a tit for tat.
I am responsible for sabotaging my own M, and I admit to almost all the faults she throws at me, but at least I'm trying my best now to salvage what I can.
Will she ever let go of holding on to that grudge?
Is there anything I can do to ecourage her to let go of the past? (and see that I am willing to make it work, and in fact that I am changed?)

Thank you, your advices are my precious counsel in this most stressful time of my life,
Bruce