Thks Floyd and KarenR. Thks for not thinking I am complete nut job.

I have spoken to DB coaches & I have spoken with you, much earlier on and they were amazing. They got me through the darkest of days. Right now I think talking to a coach would really be living in a fantasy since my STBX has not made any moves to R.

If he makes any move to come home I will definitely schedule several coaches sessions. I see how sane I am now after a year and a half of intense treatment through my shrink, alanon and these boards. A relationship with ex would not be possible unless he chooses to get some form of treatment.

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M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13