I believe in letting people flush out their feelings. I think it is so very important. So my "advice" comes from a loving place... more like trying to take you by the hand and lead you out of this dark place.
You said, "I keep coming back in my posts to the injustice that I feel through all of this. The unfairness of what we are suffering through while stbx lives it up and broadcasts a story that paints me and the kids as the bad guys."
Sweetie, it is waaaaayyyyyy too early in the game for you to be talking about "injustice." Let's you and I have a chat about that at the end of our lives... you keep those hands clean and you continue to focus on protecting yourself, I will bet EVERY SINGLE THING I OWN that you will have your "justice."
Your H and OW have engaged in a dangerous game. They cheated, they lied, they have inflicted unneeded pain on others. That will come back to bite them. Your children will never have the same R with H again. That will bite him. Your children will never accept OW because of the way she was presented, that will bite the both of them. They will ALWAYS have trust issues with one another because of the way their R came about. That will bite the both of them. They have both lost a friend. That will bite them. Shall I go on? Justice? You will have it.
What your picture looks like is up to you. You can walk away knowing DESPITE WHAT YOUR H SAYS, that you were classy. You can walk away with a stronger R with your children. You can walk away a better person than you were before because you got an education of a lifetime. You may find yourself in a stronger R than you were before. You certainly are preparing yourself for that with all the introspection you have. Maybe you will cruise the seas with a wonderful man who thinks you are about the greatest thing that ever walked the face of this great earth. Maybe you find someone that you connect with on a level you never thought was possible. I don't know what your future is, but I DO know that what you do now will shape it. You are doing the RIGHT things. Just keep going. I know you are scared and it hurts like he!! and the tunnel is so damn dark but the only way out is to just keep going. Justice will take care of itself. That isn't your concern.
"The line it is drawn And the curse it is cast The slow one now Will later be fast
As the present now Will later be past The order is Rapidly fadin'
And the first one now Will later be last For the times they are a-changin'"
NLW, your life is absolutely changing. I know you feel real low, but this will not last forever. I know this is small comfort at the moment. But take solace, the sun will come up again and shine upon you! This is not your life. This is right now. Tears fall as I write this because I know the unbelievable pain. I'm in it right now. But I know that we are going to walk out of this.
