Lonely, Sad and No Communication

[Tallula]

Hey SBR - thanks for posting on my Sitch. I appreciate anyone who takes time to post.

I know your right and some of the things you mentioned I didn't think of! The thing is as time goes by I feel we will 'lose touch with one another' and it will be more awkward to be around one another which, as I texted her, isn't healthy as the kids will suffer.

I've been doing ok. I miss my W and family like mad but I've chosen to take this road and by GAL the house is really benefitting! I do have fears about the future but I'm gonna have to deal with that as and when they arise.

Thanks

Leaving them alone is really hard. It does feel like the opposite of what we should do, but I find that some days are just harder than others. Honestly, I am finding more peace with the less interaction I have. I don't stress over my texts or did I say the wrong thing. I have really made huge strides in detaching.

When I'm having a really bad day, I text a friend instead or re-read DR or come here & read sandi's rules.

Head up, friend!

[LJC]

Yep I know Tallula. This is by far the hardest and scariest thing I've ever done!

I'm amazed I haven't bumped into her since I last saw her. She has to use my road to now get to her place but the only thing I've seen of her is when she passes the Fire Station in her car (that's on her Road).

I'm looking forward to weekend as I've got the kids from fri PM till Sun PM. Got a lot planned like Bowling, D loves eating at Frankie & Bennys so we're go there then off to the Cinema to watch Wreck it Ralph! I brought in the cake mix so that's what we're be doing after Sunday lunch so they will have lots to tell W when I take them back!

[LJC]

Ok I have a confession to make (gulp)

I bought W flowers for Valentines : ' (

I have my reasons which ill explain. They weren't fancy or expensive all they had was a few of her fav flower among others with a simple Happy Valentines Day message. The reason I gave in was purely because I haven't seen her in 3/4 weeks and I hated the thought of not getting W anything as, in my eyes that really would show her I don't care anymore. Another reason is I feel as if I'm competing with someone all guesswork and mind reading I just have that gut feeling.

But do you know what? I was in quite a good mood all day didnt expect a text or call from W about them but mid afternoon she text saying "thanks for the flowers u really shouldn't have though!" After I read that I went flat and wondered why I did even bother because it got me thinking "why shouldn't I, I haven't been told otherwise!"

I said it before, your damned if you do and damned if you don't!

Ok go - start telling me what a fool I've been and all the damage that has been done and what a backslide I made.

[sweetbabyred]

LJC, how are things going? Haven't heard from you since Valentine's day.

Hope you're doing okay.

[LJC]

Hey SBR

Thanks for asking! I've been meaning to post an update but I've been really busy. Still going to the gym working out and running, continue to decorate the house which is starting to look great but still got lots to do and socially I've been putting myself out there meeting new people.

The kids are my main priority and make sure I do lots with them even if its getting them help me prepare sunday lunch or make cupcakes to take home, why is it they love a mess! Sunday 3rd is my birthday so ive asked if they can stay over and I take them to school which W is fine about. Im hoping to go bowling with them as well but S3 gets bored half way thru bless him so I might settle for taking them out for dinner with family and friends.

Regarding my Sitch - Coming upto 5 months since BD - Im happy, I don't suffer with anxiety or have bad days, it seems the rollercoaster has hit a smooth spot shall we say! I don't expect anything from W and I think Ive done a good job at detaching completely from her. Im at the stage where Im ready to move on with my life with the changes Ive made. I've done so much book reading, read advice on my sitch on here and read other peoples advice and really taken it in, Ive even screen shot a few posts by Sandi and 25yearmlc which I thought was invaluable - The vets on here really do make a difference, you just have to be smart enough to absorb it!

I saw SD today and gave her a lift to her mates house where they walk to school from. I wanted to see her anyway and ask what she has planned for Mothers Day? I mentioned about getting some flowers which I will buy if she can manage to find a card, I know I will have to text her to remind her but as she is getting older things like this will be her responsibility unlike D9 and S3 who cant get into town!

Thanks for your concern - I will try and Journal more often even if I post on trying to identify others who are similar to my sitch.

Have a good weekend all x

[sweetbabyred]

LJC, I'm glad you're doing well. After 5 months, I still had quite a few bad days. Heck, I think it was about 1 1/2 years before I was pretty confident about not having really bad days.

Have fun with your kids and have a great birthday!