I agree with most of AS's comments....especially reading DR and 5LL.
You've got to start working on you for you. You can't do it for your W...it won't stick, and she'll know it. It'll take a long time for her to start trusting your changes, so the sooner you start the better!
I remember those awful feelings, thinking my W was running around, and she was doing things a lot worse than what you've described. At the end, I never felt better about any of it. When I snooped, I took what I found and assumed the worst, so I felt even worse than before. When I confronted, she denied and then got pissed that I snooped. You see the cycle right? It goes round and round. Even if she was fooling around, she wouldn't tell you about it.
In the end, realize that you can't control your W. If she wants to run around, she will, and nothing you do or say will stop her. But chasing after it and thinking the worst will only push her further and further away.
So with that said, what do you want to work on? Who do you want to be?
