Bea, I hope your xh is different than mine. My xh wanted to put things right w/family and friends, but it was lip service. He's still floundering out there and hasn't reconnected w/a number of his family including his once favorite uncle. They talk about things quite a bit, but actions are very slow to come. I guess it's because they are extremely slow in waking up and do not know how to go about reconnecting w/people. I think they do have a "fear" that they will be shunned or rejected and they are still fragile and don't want the door shut in their faces.
Yes, you are correct, the play has moved on and so many things have changed and it's difficult for them to catch up. However, if he's determined to make things right, he will paddle extremely hard to catch up and do the right things. It's a lot of work and they have to be determined to do the hard work or they just stay in the same spot floating.
My xh doesn't look well either. He just turned 60 and he now looks older than me! He use to have that baby face quality about him which made him look very young, but it's not there any longer. It's very sad.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
