W basically moved out of the bedroom and started sleeping on the couch. She said she couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to watch TV in our room since it might wake me up. I never bought this excuse, but, I decided long ago to pick my battles; this one wasn’t worth it.
Things were quiet until I asked her a question on December 21st. We didn’t fight; I simply asked her what was going on. She responded by asking me if I knew why she wanted to get a job. I told her I suspected it was so she could get her own place, and she said yes.
During this conversation she told me this: I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can’t think, can’t concentrate, and can’t sleep. She claims to have even asked one of her friends WTF was wrong with her since she has everything a woman could want – nice house, great kids, a husband who will do anything for her – yet can’t get happy; and she’s tired of acting happy when she’s not. I guess this is Bomb Drop #2…?
I told her that I never expected – or wanted – her to act happy; I wanted her to BE happy and if that took a separation or divorce, then so be it. I also told her that only she knows for sure how and what she feels, and I have to respect what she’s telling me even if I don’t fully understand or agree with it.
She looked very surprised by these comments. I simply told her that, after everything that’s happened over the last year, I’m at a place where I can move on if I have to or need to, and left the conversation at that.
This was in the evening after I had already ordered Divorce Busting, Divorce Remedy, How to Change Your Life…, and Relationship Rescue (by Dr. Phil) earlier in this same day. I had said ILY sparsely from mid-November, but, since this day I haven’t said it once – only later to find out that’s the right thing to do…
Some back story might be in order here: She had been ‘looking’ for a job since September, but, never really seriously looked for anything. She wouldn’t even update her resume, which left my confused and frustrated.
During the holidays, I read, read and read some more. And I learned a ton, some of what I learned reinforced suspicions I had developed, and some hit me like a ton of bricks. I also watched her actions even closer than before. At no time during this period did she make any effort to look for a job or work on her resume.
She would occasionally leave the house to go for a drive and would be gone for 2 – 3 hours at a time. I would send an occasional text to make sure she was alright, but, that was it; and I eventually stopped doing that. If I didn’t ask what she did or where she went, she would end up telling me. If I did ask, I usually got no response at all, so I stopped asking.
