I'm going to give you the same advice that my therapist did a couple of weeks ago. Get your heart out of this and let your brain take over for a little while. What does this mean? While I know this hurts you, there is a bigger thing at play here. I'm not liking what your H is doing here. You need to start documenting this stuff for a potential court hearing. That NEEDS to happen. You need to start protecting yourself. Your H is trying to turn this into something ugly and bitter and you need to do your best to thwart that. You also need to be VERY mindful about what you do and don't say to the children right now as they also can be called into court (I was). You are in a game of chess right now with him, you are armed with better info than he is and given his R with OW, he's already lost his queen. Don't give yours away!
I understand your pain and anguish, believe me. You have been through so much. But no amount of love and sympathy is going to protect you... YOU have to protect you.
