3 Months in, Still fighting. Crunch time!

[Tallula]

Oh, and lastly, I did have boundaries while H was still seeing OW. No contact with her in our house, ie texting or calls. No spending a cent on her. No spending the night out. Honestly, the only time he could see her was on lunch breaks. I wouldn't tolerate family time being used for his A. If these were broken, he was out. He lived by those. But it all was still eating at me.

Again by your above post, you think that she will obviously choose you over OM. Again, I don't see that you are being honest with yourself about living without W. it's ok to just say, yea, I wantbto save my marriage at all costs. At the cost of my self esteem, my money, eyc. Because I'll tell you what, I knew that is what I was doing, deep down. Taking whatever crumbs I could get.

So I've been separated for 2 weeks. I stopped all types of pursuing. I don't text or call unless it's about the kids. I don't ask to hang out. H texts me several times a day to see how I'm doing. I usually say good & something about the kids. He'll call to say hi & that he misses me. Tonight he texted to remind me to take out the trash. Then a happy early Vday. Then an I love you. Yea...3 minths ago i knew that detaching (with love) would drive him away, but look at what I know. I only responded with a "thanks". And for me it was a thanks about the trash pickup. It's not my regular job & I forgot last week.

Try a beginners mind...