3 Months in, Still fighting. Crunch time!

[Tallula]

I will say, my husband complained of lack of affection, sex (just the same as you, we never had sex less than 2 times a week) and no compliments. These were his complaints from the past year. Before that, he said I was great. As far as the controlling stuff, while true, he fully takes 50% of the blame now. He knows he purposely gave me that control.

So this is why I say I get it. My H definately warmed to me, big time. He left the OW. But he then also told me I was smothering him a bit.

My biggest point was this. You are so tied to what every action will produce in your wife, that you may not be being true to you. That is huge! DB is all about looking at you. Pulling back isn't about being mean or unfriendly. Yes, my husband is a serial cheater. He may come to me and say he doesn't ever think he can be faithful. I may never be able to trust him & not try again. But that doesn't mean our sitchs are so different that we do many different things. You keep wanting your sitch to somehow be different than every bodies so you can keep doing what you think is best. Again, no one is telling you to tell her to leave. Just do not pursue. Do not buy gifts. Etc.

As for D3, I am having my kids make valentines. They are too young to do it on their own. Hopefully my kids will never learn of what their father has done. I will protect their R with everything I have. I will not let my H's actions affect my integrity.