I am posting this because we often wonder where the MLC journey is taking people. My now xh dropped the bomb over 7 years ago, and was one mean and angry man for a long long time. We had a protracted and painful divorce, and I had no contact for a long time. Anyway last October we agreed to meet when he was going to be near where I now live.
To cut a long story short we met today, and I haven't seen him in nearly three years (apart from briefly in Court) It was very very strange. Like meeting a stranger that you know. I do not know where all the love or the pain I felt has gone. I no longer love him - I don't dislike him, but to be honest I found him rather boring.
He doesn't seem remotely aware of the passage of time that has elapsed - talked about the boys as if they were still young. Thought he should remember the coat I was wearing . . . .
He clearly wants to have greater contact with his family again, and be in their lives, and asked me how I felt about staying in touch. I said I would have to think about it. Said I had rebuilt my life, and I wasn't sure I wanted him as a part of it. He wanted to go and see the church that my eldest son worships in and that I go to when I am in the same part of the world. He wants to know about their lives and mine . . . .
I would say his crisis is over but that he hasn't sorted himself out. He clearly cannot address the real damage. I don't dislike him, but he just isn't the man I loved so much.
All I can say is that in my case when it is over, it is just strange and peaceful. I am pleased I saw him, and I wish him well.
I suppose I am posting this as my account of what has happened after all of this time. Mine isn't a story of rebuilding a marriage, but neither are we are odds any more. I care about who he was, and I can honour that. I wish him well.
