W called today to ask something about what time I would be home on Thursday. We chatted a little, mostly about a new oppurtunity for her at work. I mentioned that the kids and I were trying to remember to pray every night before we go to bed. I asked if she coud do this with them as well. After she asked about what we pray for she said something to the effect of, "your like a whole different guy."
Of course my thought was, ok lets do this then. I just said thanks and that I was trying.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
My question has to do with comments my w had made. We were talking about custody agreement and the money that goes along with it. It seems she thinks I am more concerned about the money that I have to pay her, and I think she is trying to get more than she should. She expressed concern that she stays home and plays games with the kids, while I am out with the kids doing things that cost money. I do take them climbing and things that do cost money, not anything expensive. She has also commented how I always am working and spending money on the house.
Is this normal jealousy of GAL activities, or something that is a general concern and a potential 180? I really enjoy those things and I will not stop climbing with my friends. I could easily have just as much fun staying home with the kids as well.
I am not sure if it is in the normal script for a WAS, but my W mentioned something just about as ironic a while ago. During a discussion about money, W mentioned how broke she was. I also mentioned that this S was putting me behind on bills. Then, (and this is the funny part), She had to audacity to say, "well, if you would watch you money better you would be fine paying your bills". She went on to say, "you eat out too often". Now, you have to take into consideration that I am literally paying EVERY household bill we have. My W abandoned the house and all of our joint responsibilities. On top of that, I still pay her medical insurance and her car insurance. I am putting a roof over her head and paying for all of her utilities. On the other hand, she has spent tons of money traveling, partying, clothes, you name it. She rented a hotel room for the weekdend so she could party in Vancouver BC just a few weeks ago. And don't forget, she makes roughly $500 a month now. She took a $2,000 pay cut by changing occupations job, just before BD.....but I eat out too often?...haha
It's simply the mindset of the WAS. They don't see things rationally!
I haven't seen anything to the extent of what you described. Although, there have been some things that I have found ironic. I am to the point that I usually just find some humor in it. More than that I try to remember that w is on her own path and I hope that some day she will see the irony in her words as well. Nothing negative that I say to her, or anyone for that matter, will get either party involved anywhere.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
So I have no intention to even acknowledge v-day to w. With that being said is it appropriate to have the kids make her a card? I do not want to have my children grow up and make the same mistakes I have. Which means they need to learn how to show their love and appreciation to those that matter.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
I plan to have my kids make H some cards. I do that each year, and even if we D, I think it is important to teach my kids exactly whay you said.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Jokingly I asked h what he was getting me and he said "SFA". I just texted back a pouty face lmao!! But then again, our relationship is a little strange to begin with...
Okay, I could use some help in setting a boundary. Everytime my w asks me for information regarding terms of our D it is like a knife to the heart. I know that I have said it is just a piece of paper, but it hurts to talk about it. She wants the info from me because if her L has to research anything it is costing her money. She says we will always be a family, and everytime she talks about a d, it is a reminder to me that our family is dying. I will copoarent as best as I can, although being a family for me is a package deal.
Sometimes I think that a d will have to happen in my sitch before there is a chance for r. Just wondering how to word the boundary that I am done providing info, as she should have everything she needs at this point anyway, and either her L or herself can research anything else moving forward. Or do I put on a smile and pretend that I am okay with a divorce. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle and I should focus on the overall war.
Plus it seems like everytime I am in a good place the d comes up and sends me back down.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
Doesn't sound like you need a boundary. I think you're getting that confused with protecting your feelings. She asked for info and that's it. What kind of info is she asking for? If it's strictly logistical, then you should give it to her or give her the resources where she can find them out herself.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
