Good news is...she may not be in an A where she thinks he's ready to walk down the aisle with her b/c they're so in loooooove. Bad news is....she's looking and making it known she's available.
When I called her on it (prior to reading DB & DR) she said a friend reactivated and updated for them for her and that she hardly uses them. Even my credulity has limits, though.
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My suggestion is to make plans to be busy on the 14th and not be available to answer any of her TM or calls. In fact, get out of the house all weekend and find something to do that you haven't done in a long time. Something that has no connection to her (her relatives, her friends, etc.). Do something that will help get your blood flowing and put some life back into your soul.
I don't anticipate her calling or texting. It's hard to do something that has no connection to her because I'm in a small town. After work Thursday, I have a therapy appointment that day. That weekend, I'll probably go on a couple of long hikes on trails that we never walked together.
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I'm so sorry that you are facing this situation and feeling so much pain. It is important that you take very good care of yourself....physically, emotionally, spiritually. Whatever you enjoy that gives you inspiration....get it. Keep getting it, b/c you've just lost a parent....and that much alone can throw you into serious depression. Since you already have problems with depression, please do whatever you can do to get better.
Thank you so much for the kind words. Physically, I'm taking better care of myself than I have in YEARS. I can look in the mirror without loathing what I see now. The other two are harder. I'm really beating myself up for treating the most precious thing in the world to me so poorly. But the new prescriptions really seem to help. I'm trying to focus on finding a new job, but my sector is so slow at hiring. So frustrating!
