the expectations for women in a M are too great, IMO. there's too much of a double standard. i think a lot of men WANT another mother. at least, someone who will take care of them, not ask questions or demand anything of them, and continue to give unconditional love, no matter what they say or do (or don't do).
none of us who have been LBS's had perfect S's. we didn't get to the point where our S's didn't want to be with us because everything about them was wonderful and only we were deficient.
while we worked on ourselves, because of the BD accusations and the terror of being alone, the WAS, i suspect, didn't do so much. why should they...it was all our fault. unless they do, i don't think R will work.
unfortunately, in my case, i think i will have to enlighten my H, little by little, as things come up. there will probably be resistance but my giving him my list of what i wanted in a mate, prior to him coming home, was a real heads-up about my boundaries.
i don't think we'll be married forever. i don't think i'll ever be able to fully trust him again. he could bail out on me again. he could put his kids before our M again. i'm almost certain he would cheat my son if i die first, and i'm 10 older than he.
so...i will live for today, hope for the best, plan for the worst (should i need to), and enjoy what i can.
CV, in your case, you would be so gone if you didn't have your S. so your dilemma is saving yourself or causing your S pain.
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
