Left Behind Husband on the Left Coast: My Story

[sandi2]

I know people say WAWs typically waver in their feelings, but I sure haven't seen any wavering from her.

Most of her "wavering" was probably before she left and moved in with her parents.

My wife said she is going out of town this weekend. I'm panicking here and my mind is running away with all sorts of bad scenarios. I think there is a OM. If there is, I don't know that I could forgive her but I don't want to give up on our marriage either. Help!

Why do you think she has another man? Have you seen signs that pointed to OM?

Did indicate her plans, or just tell you she's going out of town? If you haven't seen her in five weeks, why would she contact you to tell you about her weekend? Or.....did you ask her out for Valentines?\

I wish men could get over the idea they have to do something simply b/c of commercial pressure. If it was not on the calendar, would you feel worried over the 14th? And now....there's a possibility she's going to see OM. How do you think she'd receive a valentine from the man she wants to D? When I see a LBH giving anything to his WAW on Valentines Day (who has filed for D.....and/or seeing a possible OM) as rather inappropriate, but that's just me.

So, let's get back to the weekend. You said you didn't know if you could forgive her if there is OM. You need to make up your mind about forgiving her or not. B/c if you can't forgive.....then there is no point of being here. If you can't forgive her, then your next step is to sign the D papers and move on with your life.

I'm saying this as a matter of fact, and I apologize if it comes across as sounding cold. But I want to get your attention. Whenever you have a spouse that leaves the M.....SOMEBODY better get ready to do a whole lot of forgiving!! And I learned that it goes both ways, so nobody gets out of the act of forgiveness if you want to reconcile the M.

Why didn't you continue to see the counselor with your W? Has there been infidelity in the past?