Sounds like you two are starting to communicate better, and that's a very good thing!
Originally Posted By: RegretfulLA
I'm still feeling a little bit numb about the R in general. I don't have a lot of energy to put into it at the moment. I'm not feeling bad or good about it; just kind of neutral as if I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not sure why that is.
I think the wave analogy is probably the way to go at this point. Your H is just starting to work thru things on his side....be patient and keep working on you. It's going to take a lot of time.
Originally Posted By: RegretfulLA
I guess I was so used to not being treated well that I a) expect it and b) think at some level that I deserve it. So not healthy.
To an extent, that is where my W is. Her IC (who I don't think is spectacular based on everything I've heard) told her she is "conditioned" to expect a fight, for me to be angry, etc etc. W even went so far as to tell me she didn't take the job of her dreams a few years ago because she was "conditioned" to think I'd disapprove (and we discussed it briefly and I think I was pretty positive about it...anything to get her away from OM lol). I agree with conditioning to a point, but at some point you have to stand up and take responsibility for your own actions.
