Help/Advice needed please...

[Intact]

I think scrapping the divorce is a good step forward in my DB.

It is, although...

It doesn't give you a free pass from working on yourself...

It can start again, as quickly as it was "scrapped"

I understand this and I can safely say I have no intention of ever stopping work in myself.

The results, if there are any, will be in my genuine consistency.

[Intact]

Sorry messed that last quote up Mach: was meant to say:

I understand this and I can safely say I have no intention of ever stopping work in myself.

The results, if there are any, will be in my genuine consistency.

[Mach1]

I think scrapping the divorce is a good step forward in my DB.

It is, although...

It doesn't give you a free pass from working on yourself...

It can start again, as quickly as it was "scrapped"

I understand this and I can safely say I have no intention of ever stopping work in myself.

The results, if there are any, will be in my genuine consistency.

When.....

not "if"


Think in the negative, and you give yourself permission to live in the negative...

[Intact]

I think scrapping the divorce is a good step forward in my DB.

It is, although...

It doesn't give you a free pass from working on yourself...

It can start again, as quickly as it was "scrapped"

I understand this and I can safely say I have no intention of ever stopping work in myself.

The results, if there are any, will be in my genuine consistency.

When.....

not "if"


Think in the negative, and you give yourself permission to live in the negative...

Very good point thank you.

[Intact]

JOURNAL

Hard to concentrate on anything today after yesterdays conversation with my W. She does seem to have gone somewhat colder since, but I think that's to be expected.

The whole conversation really has made me wonder if there really is a glimmer of hope. It's so hard to not let it consume your thoughts. I wish could see, what I see - a future together as a family - in love and happy.

I know she is dreadfully conflicted at this point in time - with making a go of things for our Son and just not having the "right feelings or hope" towards me...

[Spartan]

You're going to go crazy if you keep thinking about your W's thoughts. Hope is great but don't let it turn into expectations. This is a LONG process and if you've read enough threads you know the WAS can change their mind in an instant and you're back on the roller coaster. Happened to me several times.

Just continue to work on yourself and become the best man and father you can be. The only way for her to change her mind is if she believes you are a new person.

[Intact]

Yes I know you're right. She keeps telling me how conflicted she is, I'm sure a lot of this is to do with the OM - in fact I fairly confident that if he wasn't in the picture she would be working on our marriage.