We often ask God for help. We give him our problems, and later take them back as if He is not capable of handling them as we would want them done. But it takes a lot to see that and really know that.
It takes a lot to be able to admit any wrong doing on our part. I've struggled with it as well. None of us is perfect, K. None of us.
I have spent a lot of effort to not try and put myself as better than my ex. It's hard. But honestly, there but for the grace of God go I. She's human. I'm human. We're all susceptible to making mistakes. It's part of being human. I struggle with her sudden change in personality and hatred. But then I remember that there is more to it, even if I don't know the "more" part of it. I struggle when she sends me condescending emails. As if she is trying to stay connected. Every cell in my body wants to scream out, "leave me alone!" And I remember none of us is perfect. None of us is better. And I refrain from calling names or, anymore, responding.
It's a tough road, m'dear. But coming to terms with it is the first step, and you are making great strides. You likely aren't wrong, that he wants your "approval" in some twisted way. But what's more important is what you want at this point. He'll have to change to get what he wants/needs. He may not be able to get it from you, but he'll only learn to change if he needs to. If what he's doing doesn't work for you, you'll need to stand firm and then it's up to him to adjust to that or not.
As you surrender to God the things you don't understand and cannot control, remember that you gave them to Him. Let Him do with it what he will and be glad he does
I'm with ya, sister!
Peace,
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
