This would be a good time to put your validation techniques to use, it's not just for your W but for anyone in your life. Sit down with her and ask her how it makes her feel. Don't say "what's wrong" because that will just put her on the defensive, like any response other than "nothing" is confirming to you that there is something "wrong" with her. So ask her how she feels about it. Then validate her feelings, tell her you understand why she feels that way. Discuss various options with her and find out how she feels about them.
I did that exact thing AS, I asked my D how would you feel if I sold this house and we got to pick a new one out. Her answer "I don't care" and a shoulder shrug. I said hhmm what does that mean to you?, her answer "I dunno". I said if i hear you correctly you have no feelings either way on me selling this house, her answer, "i don't care". Now a friend of mine said that my W told her when we separated that our D was staying with me because 1 I'm a good father 2. our d does not want to move.
While thinking about this more and more, I think i will refinance and live here for a year or so and figure me out. I don't want to rush a decision and wind up worse off emotionally than I am now. It is not the smartest thing to do financially yet I think the smartest thing to do for me. I make plenty enough to afford this house. I will take my D to Kirklands and we can pick out some decor for us and we can decorate this mother up lol.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
