NLW,

I am sorry you are dealing now with the "official" D proceedings. I was served a few months ago and yes, no matter how much you "prepare" mentally for it, it still punches you in the gut when it actually happens.

Yet you sound so strong right now. I just caught up reading and I can see how much LaBug and others have been supporting you and helping you since the parking lot incident. As someone else already mentioned, it took a lot of courage for you to come here and post about it. It would have been so much easier to just not mention or deal with it, but you are a great person and you are trying to do the right things and become a better person and that is admirable. I hope you can put that incident behind, forgive yourself and focus on today, because in the end, that is all we have.

I am also relieved to hear that you will get together with your L at this time. I understand that your financial situation is dire and without going into a lot of details here, I will tell you that I am in a similar situation. Yet I know that since our spouses won't hold off on the D process, we need to do whatever - borrow, beg or whatever we need to to pay for that L and make sure we protect our kids and ourselves.

I am sure your L knows (or will soon learn) the exact extent of your financial limitations, so perhaps you can ask him/her what kind of payment plans or options they have or what usually proceeds in cases like this. In addition, when you respond / negotiate, you can request that your H pays for all your legal expenses. That is definitely a negotiating point and while you might need to cover those costs initially, you may see that $ come back eventually. IDK, just a thought.

Finally, I also think that the whole D process will be less overwhelming for you if you have the support and guidance from an expert looking out for your best interests - your situation is quite complicated.

NLW, hang in there - we will survive this, and if we choose to, we will thrive.

Remember you are NOT alone. Come and vent, share and find support. We are here.

(((((((NLW)))))))


Me & H: 44
D7, D6, S3
Together: 20y, M: 17y
EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10
EA becomes PA: Spring 2011
H filed for D: 09/06/12
D Negotiating began 2/15
OW seemingly gone on 3/15
Still negotiating D