GAL and find yourself again. It's so hard at first, but try to get out and do things for yourself.
Your situation is almost identical to mine except my H was more conflicted between leaving me for OW. However, he continually told me how OW was more fun than me. He really likes her. He is excited to show our kids an example of a good relationship, etc.
Flash forward about a year. I've now seen evidence that OW is a wacko (one of their text conversations showed up on my 5-year old's phone). H seems miserable (at least around me) and that confidence about OW is gone. The reality of splitting up the family and having to deal with our 3 kids alone is also weighing on him.
Anyway, my point is just that your wife's confidence in her new relationship is probably short-lived and the reality of a divorce will set in at some point.
Ultimately, it's up to you on what you can live with. I tried to endure H's affair for about 4-5 months and then needed him out of the house (which took another 5 months). I now don't think I'd take him back.
You'll get through this. Take care of yourself and try to stay strong. Things change and you will eventually get more control in the situation.
Take care!
M 44, H 46 D11, D9, D5 Married 12 years PA confirmed 9/2011 I filed 3/2012 H moved out 7/2012
